Phwoar, blimey. Get a load of that!!!
I know I woul… oh wait, no. No. And NO!
And before you even BEGIN to suggest it’s because I’m gay, well just n… That’s partly the reason, but there are plenty of others, so let’s assume I was straight.
Reasons Not To Have Sexual Intercourse With That Woman Above
- I can’t look into those eyes. Go on try it. See you failed! You failed, just like I did! Ah! It’s scary!
- Her earlobes are attached. Need I say more?
- Her smile is crooked.
- You can’t see her breasts in this picture, come come now Melanie! If you’re going to try and pull straight-me in I at the very least need you to pose for a calendar with a couple of Belgian Buns…
- Oh yeah, and she ‘writes’ for the Daily Mail… (nearly forgot that one)
Now I’m not going to prattle on and on about this darling daemon. (Better?) people have already hogged that bandwagon (my favourite blog entry can be found here and this came back out from September 2007), but I am going to finish this section of my blog with the following:
Should you ever find yourself in a position to read this blog entry, although I suspect you won’t as you’ll never find yourself unemployed so long as the Daily Mail exists (once that’s been dealt with though your days as a ‘journalist’ are up), I would like to inform you that when you discussed (? is that the term for it?) the role of the male seahorse and emperor penguin in childcare and alluded that this was all part of the gay agenda…
YOU COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE RIGHT! That’s right. My entire design is purely to raise a small army of street urchins to aid me in my plight to take over the world, along with my right-hand man (if you know what a I mean, *wink wink*). However, unlike Fagin, I shall succeed in siring these boys without the devilish-maternal touch of the Nancy-sort… Yes. How gay am I?! Not only do I have a ‘Gay-Agenda’ but I put it into context with the help of MUSICAL THEATRE AND LITERATURE. Oh, if only you could hear me cackling…