I’ve become a murderer. And I don’t feel remorse. I’m a psychopath!

Ok, so I only murdered someone whilst in my dreams but even so. No remorse. In fact, it made me happy. That’ll teach the cheeky bint *shakes fist and cackles* It was quite relieving, actually. I was finally able to release all that pent up anger I feel whenever I go shopping, so much so my neck muscles don’t hurt any longer, so I can only assume that it’s because of this dream.

It all started with the upcoming Easter shop. Unable to grasp the concept of time in dream-world Asda, I imagine I spent a few hours walking through the store to fill up my trolley with everything one could need for a traditional roast dinner on Easter Sunday with the intention of feeding 20 people or so. Finally having reached the checkout and some idiot pushing in front of me because he only had two items (go to the express checkout, moron).

Next frame and I’m about to start packing my shopping but none of it is coming down the conveyor belt. Instead, some old woman (who had been behind me at the checkout) is stood packing her stuff. Upon questioning the teller she said she’d thought it was all together because there wasn’t a divider.

Oh. There was a divider. I made absolutely CERTAIN there was a divider. This old woman had evidently removed it. I turned to her and asked what she was doing, saying she’d taken my shopping, and she called me a liar.

So I rammed a trolley into her. Repeatedly. Until she stopped moving. Then went on my way with an empty trolley to go and put the tomatoes back on the shelf that I’d decided I didn’t need any longer. (Not sure about that bit… Hmmm)

I think everyone should enjoy this form of hypnotherapy… It’s all the fun of murder, without the blood (and murder).

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