Congratulations to His Royal Highness, Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Order of the Knight’s Garter and Her Grace, Catherine Windsor, Duchess of Cambridge, Countess of Strathearn, Baronness Carrickfergus. What a spectacular day you have put on for us all, and I wish you all the best in the coming years you shall share together in both the public eye and your private lives. You deserve everything that the world can offer you… The same as every bride and groom. It has nothing to do with your lineage that I wish you luck. Or that I cried at whilst watching your ceremony. It’s because there’s evidently a lot of love between the two of you. It just beams out of your very beings when you are together. From William’s wide smile, to the twinkle in Catherine’s eyes when they lock with her Prince’s. And this is why I wept.
Later on, following the dissipation of those feelings of elation as I witnessed your first kiss, as I witnessed that sentient touch of hands, I became that token bridesmaid/wedding guest who cries at the end of the evening.
I’m not proud of it, but I have to admit it. I became the one that stands in the middle of the dance floor as S Club “Reach For The Stars” plays, drinking gin or some other spirit, crying about how it’s never them.
Today has only reconfirmed that I want to get married. That I want to find that one special man made for me, and give to him everything I possess, and share with him everything in our future.
I want to sing “Jerusalem” at the top of my voice in a magnificent church or cathedral. I want to walk down an aisle as a string quartet plays bidding adieu to my life as one entity. I want everything that I’ve grown up thinking I could have as a heterosexual, but as an adult awoken to my sexuality.
It depresses me to think that I can’t have this purely because I’d wish to lie abed with another man. Yet, those who truly do not want it, those that are not truly faithful to the words they repeat in the eyes of God, can have all of this and more.
All is fair in love and war… most especially when one must wage war upon society to be permitted to show your love.